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  • Writer's pictureAll Things Melanin

Eye Candy vs. Soul Food

In today's society, it seems like everyone is consumed by impressing people they don't know with money and things they don't have.  Everyone is so consumed by the outward appearance and looks that sometimes, we forget to look at the foundation that a person is building, the inside of their hearts, mind, goals, ambitions, dreams and so on.  Don't get me wrong, looks do matter to an extent, but there's more to a person than physical attributes.

Dating in today's society is so hard compared to stories we've both been told from when our parents got married.  Everyone seems to be overdoing it, overselling themselves and settling for less than they deserve just so they can have someone.  I know being single when everyone around you is boo'd up, engaged or married can get you down, however, settling for less than you deserve is never the answer.

Which Do You Prefer?

When looking for a potential mate or date, most people tend to go for eye candy.  Someone that looks good to the eye, someone they can boast and show around.  But the thing about eye candy is,  it looks good, it tastes good but it's not always good for you.  Usually in these situations, you end up settling or getting what you want, but not what you need. Eye candy is only good to the eye and for keeping up appearances.  Many times, when you only associate yourself with someone for their looks, you're neglecting your mental and emotional needs to satisfy your physical needs.  Physical attributes aren't going to raise your children, comfort you when you need it most, or have the goals and standards you need to have a healthy relationship.  

Most don't realize what they truly, genuinely need is soul food.  A person that is good to you and for you, someone that genuinely cares about you and likes you for who you are, someone that will grow with you, support you and has similar standards and goals. They have more to offer than just physical attributes and they bring more to the table because they know their value and yours.  They are seeking more than looks and want to build more, be more and show you every single day.  They tend to build a foundation, play no games and set the tone for the relationship early on so as not to waste anyone's time.

Many people have written several books and guides to dating, courting and finding the one. However in my opinion, there' no specific way or person who can tell you how to find the one.  There is so much pressure to settle down, get married and reproduce and so many times, a lot of people do so without experiencing life or getting someone they truly deserve or are equally yoked with. 

We don't have all the answers or even pretend to, but what we can tell you is to never settle for less than you deserve or want.  Don't allow anyone to pressure you into a relationship.  Just trust your process. Be patient and wait for "soul food" because they'll make you realize why you waited and didn't settle.  Genuine love is rare and hard to come by because no one wants to take time to build something more.  

Eye Candy VS. Soul Food, which are seeking and looking for? 


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